God is not a man...

I've been trying something lately, and it's been difficult, but well worth it. I've noticed that for me, when I relate God to a "man" I box God in. And we as a church are amazing at boxing God in. And not saying that using "he, him, his" is bad. We've been doing it for centuries. But for me, I just put another box around God and I'm trying so hard not to. I keep imagining a lifestyle without God in a box. (Because being a follower of Jesus is a lifestyle...not a religion!) When God can be God, and not what I've made God to be. And when I think of God as a man, two things happen:

1. I forget about the "womanly" or "motherly" things God is. Beauty, Forgiveness, Humility, Comforting, Caring, etc.

2. I think too much of my Dad...and other men that aren't the best examples of God.

Let me explain #2 before I go back to #1. Nothing too bad with my Dad now, but growing up he wasn't the best example for a Father. And I can say that without any hard feelings and bitterness (23 years later...) but it's the truth and we've had discussions about it. Growing up, I had to work for forgiveness, it didn't come free. I was scared of my Dad. I hid stuff from him, wasn't honest with him, and would rarely ask him for things. You never knew when he'd yell or get mad. He wasn't the one I'd run to if I was hurt, or had a bad day. So for me, saying "God is my father" was/is really hard for me. (maybe you can relate?) Because I think, "God is my father...and my father wasn't really the 'father' type". It puts me in a awkward place. Growing up, my mom was the one we'd go to if we were hurt, upset or just needed a hug. We'd ask her for things, bring our problems to her. We were honest with her because we knew there was love, and not anger there. Forgiveness was there for free. Those are characteristics of God...right? This isn't a bash against Dad and parade for Mom. But I'm saying in my childhood, God was more present in my mom's actions. God is just as much a women as God is a man.

Which leads me back to #1. God is Beauty, Forgiveness, Humility, Comforting, Caring, etc. I don't relate many men in my life to this. Do you? I don't even feel I relate to some of the "womanly" characteristics that God does, and yet, I am told to be "like God" and "made in (Gods) image." Maybe most men aren't comforting because we've been taught that way. It's a social condition since the beginning of time. But what would it look like if a man, husband, brother, father, looked like this? This is my goal. I'll have a kid soon. And I want my kid to be able to come to me where there is free forgiveness and unconditional love. Where there is comfort, and love, etc.

So back to my original idea. Now, I know there are a lot of "nay-sayers". I know Jesus called God, "Father" and used "he, his, etc". But I wonder how much of that was the time period? For instance, Jesus was socially different anyway. Let's face it, he did a lot of stuff many rabbi's and Pharisees shouldn't and wouldn't have done. So imagine if Jesus started calling God, "Mom". I think he would have been crucified about 1 day into his ministry. God, for many, was this warrior, battling other gods and religions. God was this mighty "man" sitting in heaven reigning and ruling with ultimate justice. And God was feared (like a dad). So we've been taught and we expect to view God as a man. It's a manly picture. It gives us comfort that this beastly guy is looking after us, rather than a beautiful woman. But we take away half of what God really is when we do this. And that leads me back to the box. It's just another box I put God in. I miss the other things God is. When I think about religion, God gets put into a box. When I think about what God can and can't do...another box. And when I think about God as a man...another box. And so I've got a religious, limited, God-man as a my creator and supreme being. And I miss SO much. God is bigger than religion, bigger than limitations, and bigger than a sex. God is. Period.

VM

9 weeks...

Hello everyone~

Steph is right in the middle of her 9 weeks. Not too much of an update here. She's doing really well. No morning sickness...thank the Lord. I am really aware of babies now though. Every time I see a baby I just have to stop and stare. Same with pregnant women. I've realized the miracle that is taking place in their body and I just can't comprehend it. Not like I stare and and creep them out, just take a look and can't wait for Stephany to start showing. I think that's when it becomes "real life". Like, "Holy cow, there is actually a baby growing in their". I also have to make detours now when I'm shopping. At Macys, Target, Dillards, I always seen to end up in the baby section. It's just fun to imagine my baby boy/girl wearing these cute clothes. I was at a Cardinal store the other day and they have some of the cutest Cardinal baby shirts. One shirt says, "I can barely talk and I already hate the Cubs!"....MY FAVORITE! There is another one that reads, "This kid hates the Cubs". I like that too.

So Steph is healthy, I assume baby is healthy. So we're good. Like I said, not much of an update here.

First Baby Blog!

Hello everyone! Here is our first baby blog! We just officially announced we're having a baby. Stephany is 8 weeks along today. So we're super excited. She is doing good, no morning sickness yet (knock on wood), and she's feeling pretty good. She gets tired a lot, and because of her bad back, her back hurts a little bit more than usual. But other than that, we're good...or should I say she's good. My goal is not to gain the 20 lbs men gain when their wives are pregnant. Which surprisingly enough, it's kind of hard. Because when she eats, I'm like, "Well, what's another taco..." or whatever food she's eating. And next thing you know, your pants are a little tighter. So that's my goal. Not to gain weight. =)

So since she's eight weeks along, I thought I'd share a couple things about our little baby at eight weeks. This is taken from "Your Pregnancy: Week by week" by Glad B. Curtis M.D., M.P.H. and Judith Schuler, M.S. We're reading this book and it takes you on the journey of pregnancy. Tells you what to expect, etc. It's a nice book. So as of this week, our baby is the size of a pinto bean. Eyes are forming and it already has little finger slits and elbows. In the heart, the aortic and pulmonary valves are forming and in the lungs, the lung tubes have "branched". Crazy!!!!! The baby is actually becoming a person. That's crazy for me to think about. As for me, and this is just a blanket statement, but I have to believe more in God and of God when you look at this stuff. I don't know how else you can explain it. I'm sure there are very intellectual ways to explain it. But for me, it just deepens my faith and my dependence on God.

So that's about all for an update. I'll try to update once a week or more just to give people updates. (I do write about other stuff on here, so feel free to check it out and comment).

Well, have a great weekend and come back next week.

VM